Lipstick Lullabies

Nasagot ko yung tito ko ng, “kaligayahan hanap ko, hindi malaking sweldo” nung...

Fri, 24 May 2013 03:37:00 +0800

Nasagot ko yung tito ko ng, “kaligayahan hanap ko, hindi malaking sweldo” nung nagbibigay siya ng advice sakin kung anong kukunin na kurso. Ngayon nag-aalala ako baka naoffend ko siya. Huhu :( pero srsly, I can’t find any other way to make him stop. Sawa na rin kasi ako sa speech na, “Eto kunin mo na kurso, malaki sweldo dito blahblahblah…”. I had enough of that with my dad. Srsly, wala akong pakelam kung malaki sweldo niyan. I’d rather live a normal life doing what I want to do, than living rich while suffering with the work I never wanted. Living is not all about money, it’s about how you value things.

Deym. Aanhin ko ang malaking sweldo kung di ako masaya at nagsu-suffer ako sa ginagawa ko? Di mabibili ng sweldo na yun ang satisfaction sa buhay na gusto ko.

Advantages and Disadvantages

Thu, 23 May 2013 01:57:57 +0800

My father asked me to weigh down the advantages and the disadvantages of the course that I’d like to shift to (And yes, I will be shifting courses again). I know that he isn’t really pleased with my choice, so he’s looking for some ways for me to back out and take the course that he wanted me to take since then. It’s not like I’m not interested with the course he’s referring to me, but I’m more interested with what I’m planning to take. My reasons are pretty much simple, I’m only following after my happiness and not practicality. Basically, here are the advantages:

It’s something I’d really like to take and learn. I actually can’t imagine myself studying another course ever again. If I take this, it would be a dream come true.
I would be very happy if I graduate in this course because I know that the job offerings are in line with my interests and I’m pretty much sure that I’m more than willing to do the job, despite how high or low the pay is.
I’ll be inspired learning everything. I’ll have the drive to achieve higher, and not to settle on mediocre barely passing grades. I want to be the best in this. I can’t even think of anything that I’d like to be good at except this.

See how positive I am with it? I can’t think of anything negative about it but my dad wants me to. So I guess here are the disadvantages:

My dad wants me in a better course. Though he’s not completely against this course I’d like to take. So yeah… the coast is clear.
I might kill myself if I do bad on this course because.. well, damn. This is my dream… and doing bad will only kill my dream. I will never meet my desirable future if I flunk this. Which means suicide.

Compared to what my father really wants to me to take, I think my motivation to get through this course is enough than the talent that I have for the course that my father wants for me. I may be able to develop my talent on my father’s bet, but I will always end up dreaming to be in the course that I’ve always wanted. I’ll never be happy with anything else.

The thing is, it worries me. What if I fail even before everything starts? Or I fail in the midst of...

Thu, 09 May 2013 03:25:09 +0800

The thing is, it worries me.

What if I fail even before everything starts? Or I fail in the midst of it? Or I realize that it might be something I want, but something I’m not capable of having? It worries me about how things are not supposed to be complicated, but they are for me. I could have chosen the easier way around, but I wanted to push myself hard against the wall dividing my comfort zone, and my possibly dangerous freedom… but at the same time the thing that I wanted better. Yknow, some things cannot be reached by just staying in your comfort zone, sometimes you actually need to get yourself together and put some effort in the things you do. I learned that the hard way. I am throwing away what I’ve started despite that it isn’t really fucked up, I just don’t want it anymore. I want to have the best that I could. As long as it is possible, then I shall grab my chance on it. The process makes me frown, and there’s even no assurance that I will be able to complete this whole jump. But I’m willing to take it, I will take it. This is not for anyone else, this is for myself. I need to get the best for myself or else no one else will.

Nadamage ang cuppycake! Ohmy! Haha :) #cupcake...

Sat, 04 May 2013 13:39:28 +0800

Nadamage ang cuppycake! Ohmy! Haha :) #cupcake #browniesunlimited #lovelovelove

AWWWWW KYOOOOT HUHU. :ppp #liliput

Fri, 03 May 2013 20:18:13 +0800

AWWWWW KYOOOOT HUHU. :ppp #liliput

I hate you. I hate you for always bringing me down. I hate you for not believing in me. I hate that...

Thu, 02 May 2013 04:58:00 +0800

I hate you. I hate you for always bringing me down. I hate you for not believing in me. I hate that you want proof because you want to mock me. I hate you to death. I can show you proof. Anytime. If you want me to shove it to your throat then I would. But the fact that you still need proof, because you don’t believe me and the things that I could do hurts. It would always hurt me like how you managed to pull an insult to a supposedly positive remark. You never believed in what I could do, you never made me feel happy. It’s with you that I’ve always felt so insecure. Never will I share anything about my life to you. Ever.

732.

Thu, 02 May 2013 02:14:27 +0800

sheloveswords:

It was high time I knew his secret. He had been keeping it to me for so many months, years even, and I hadn’t noticed - the glitter in his eyes, the blissful smile, the glowing look. I just couldn’t notice it. And then one night, he blurted it out. Me, in front of him and surrounded by so many unfamiliar people. “Because I love you.” It was all too sudden, too shocking, and the words were terrifying. Maybe it’s just the recklessness of the honest person in him or maybe he was just too human to feel it and say what his heart and mind had been hiding. And then it hit me, the kind of way when someone was hiding behind a door and jumping out to scare the daylights out of you, I was in love with him, too.

:)

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:09:11 +0800

I gave my watch a new life. Lol. Still thinking if I should add...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 21:28:50 +0800

I gave my watch a new life. Lol. Still thinking if I should add more rhinestones. #watch #diy #flikflak #rhinestones #hellokitty

You guys never get my point straight. And I can’t blame you, because I don’t point them...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 02:05:01 +0800

You guys never get my point straight. And I can’t blame you, because I don’t point them out straight either.

Peplum loves <3 #peplum #fashion #tops #forever21 #f21...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 19:50:30 +0800

Peplum loves <3 #peplum #fashion #tops #forever21 #f21 #shopping

WAW ANG SEXY KO DITO SA DRAWING!!! SANA NAGING DRAWING NALANG...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:49:34 +0800

WAW ANG SEXY KO DITO SA DRAWING!!! SANA NAGING DRAWING NALANG AKO!! HAHAHA #drawing

Omaygad HAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @nafertericomma

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 02:50:37 +0800

Omaygad HAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @nafertericomma

Earlier this afternoon, I was standing by the sidewalk happily talking to my best friend over the...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 23:09:32 +0800

Earlier this afternoon, I was standing by the sidewalk happily talking to my best friend over the phone while waiting for her to come and fetch me when suddenly this mad woman came over and spit on my pants shouting profanities at me, in my deep surprise! She was telling me to leave the area and that I’m some bad luck omen something in her life. And I’m like, dafuq? I didn’t even know that this woman existed until this afternoon and she’s telling me that I should vanish in her life. She isn’t even a part of my life!!! I felt so terrorized that I immediately left the area and then there was this man who saw the whole incident and he told me that the woman really does have mental problems (duh) and it’s best if I just ignore her. But what the hell, I’ve been living in this town for like ten years and it was my first time to encounter such crazy people. And to think that the woman spit on my pants!!! If I didn’t move away I wonder where else her spit might land on, hopefully not on me! This incident just makes me eager to leave this place… as years goes by things are staring to become less comfortable. Some mad woman spitting on me, my phone being stolen through the window, stuff I heard from other people that there are gangsters around our home’s area. Goodness gracious. I do not want to risk my life in a shelter that does not give me comfort, around people who might terrorize me at any given day. Huhuhu. I just want to leave this place as soon as possible.

So my sister recently bought a book which was originally posted in Wattpad in Filipino and was later...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 00:03:18 +0800

So my sister recently bought a book which was originally posted in Wattpad in Filipino and was later on translated into English and got published. Whoever wrote that story, I sooo envy her. I mean, who would have thought that a story made out of imagination (and possibly boredom) will get that far? Maybe I should start writing stories at Wattpad too, my stories might also get published, who knows? I’ve posted a few short stories in Wattpad sometime ago but my sister found out about them so I immediately deleted them. I just don’t like the idea of having my sister know what’s running in my imagination. But the difficult (and at the same time nice) thing about Wattpad is, your stories always gets referred no matter how dull or new or fresh it is, so it’s quite easy to spot any story there. They just pop up everywhere you go (and I guess that’s how my sister found out about my story too).

Anyway, I’ve never read the book yet and I’m not yet sure if I would. Maybe I would, then I’d post a review about it. I don’t know. But I kinda want to read it in Filipino first… I think the story would sound more better in Filipino. Idk.

Our little apple pie Liliane is lying on her mommy’s back....

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 00:59:20 +0800

Our little apple pie Liliane is lying on her mommy’s back. Soooo cute:) <3<3<3

Suddenly, I don’t know where my future is heading anymore. I’ve laid out a whole...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 18:57:42 +0800

Suddenly, I don’t know where my future is heading anymore.

I’ve laid out a whole realistic plan of what I’d like my future to be, it doesn’t need a whole lot of money, it only needs talent and determination, very reachable for someone like me… as long as my present goes along with it. But it isn’t, it’s going the wrong way and I don’t even know how to get back. It’s like, I want everything to stop until I can get on the track where I want to be. This is the wrong track I’m working on, and I’m trying to look for ways to get back on the track where I want to be, but one tiny complication ruins them all, my plans, now I don’t know if I could still pursue what I want. But I surely don’t want things to stay the same. Staying the same is not an option for me, staying the same does not work for me. I want something new, and I want that something new to point to that direction I want. But switching there is quite difficult, especially when you’re not inspired enough to do what it takes to get through where you’re at right now. I just don’t know, everything is so unstable and unsure as of now. I want to hide from everything, I want to… no, I don’t want to cry. Everything will be fine, I hope. I’m still alive and I’m still young, I have a lot of time to chase after my dreams. But hopefully, it won’t take much time.

If I had been better, then I would have been closer to where I wanted to be. But apparently, I had to be away for me to know what I want. The thing is, no one believes me anymore.

It’s funny how I like posting a lot of things about myself over the internet, and then get...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 00:05:10 +0800

It’s funny how I like posting a lot of things about myself over the internet, and then get paranoid of whoever might read it. I actually don’t mind anyone reading it, what I’m thinking about what they’ll say after reading it. I mean, c’mon. I’m not a saint over the internet, I am aware that I sometimes say the stupidest things… one that I can imagine people that I actually know to be laughing at. Or get them intrigued. There are just some things that I talk about over the internet that I do not really like talking about in real like. That’s why they’re in the internet, because I can’t bring myself to talk about it to people that I actually know and yet I want to let them all out. The internet— my blogs, has been a channel for me to talk about things, share my opinions, feelings, dreams and all other stuff that I don’t really wish to open up to people around me. It’s like a public secret diary. It’s ironic, I know. But I bet half of the people here on Tumblr knows what I’m talking about. That’s why I see a lot of posts saying that they changed their Tumblr name for the nth time because someone they know in real life found out about their blog. There’s this particular sociological theory that the reason of the existence of strangers is that it’s because you don’t know them, and they don’t know you either. You can talk about small things in your life with them but they’d never judge you the same way as your friends or family will. Simply because they’ll never see it as complicated as anyone around you will. I honestly have a friend that I haven’t seen for a year and yet a phone her every now and then just to spill things about my life that I’d never tell the people around me everyday about. Because my life stories feels much more safer with her than to anyone else. You don’t want anyone knowing everything about you, don’t you? But you want everyone understanding you. That’s what strangers are for, they don’t know you, but chances are, they’ll understand you. There are people who are supposed to know you better but they will never understand you because they have already predicted what you’ll do about things, but the probability of you going with their prediction is quite slim. But later on, you will end up going with their prediction simply because you think that it’s the best way, and it’s not because of who you are, but it’s because of what the people around you thinks of who you are. It’s all about reputation, and not a lot of people would like to mess with that.

asecretstorytotell: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ERMEGHED TEKA...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 23:32:59 +0800

asecretstorytotell:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ERMEGHED TEKA LANG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS LIKE, SO BENTAAA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hi, used to experience the sleep paralysis a lot as a teenager. Before bed visualize a bright white light that engulfs your body. This is protection. Visualize this light spreading to cover your entire room and soon your house. Know you're protected, and if you believe in god, ask him to ease this for you. I read that this happens when the soul is not in the body. Concentrate on getting back in when it happens. It's very uncomfortable, I know, and I hope my advice can help you. <3

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 13:55:37 +0800

Thank you very much for your advice. Yes, I do believe in God and I actually pray before I sleep. Maybe my prayer isn’t that sincere enough and that’s why I experience it very often. I’ll try your advice :)